A Growing Family
Transitioning From Four to Five…
I have to start this by saying it pains my heart to say we have grown from four to five because I want it to say five to six. For those who haven’t read my story about our son Sawyer I encourage you to read the full version. The condensed version is that my husband and I lost our first born son when he was 18 days old due to a congenital heart defect in May of 2013. It’s been almost 5 years but darn if it doesn’t sting just as bad as the day we lost him. I’m constantly reminded of our family changing and growing without him here on Earth. All of our children will know of and about their big brother in Heaven but my heart aches for them to know him on this side.
A Growing Family: Transitioning From Four to Five
My main goal in writing this post was to document our journey in welcoming another little love in to our family. I was nervous and unsure of what life with three under four would look like, but eager and excited as well! Transitioning from one kid to two proved to be quite the challenge at times, yet we did it. We had intended to wait a tad longer before adding another baby to the family, but obviously God had different plans for us! I would not change it for anything though and the kids have been super awesome about adjusting to another baby in the house. Rhory dotes over him all of the time and Rhett just wants to cover him in kisses.
Birth Story: Tyler Kane
One thing I don’t want to forget about any of my children would be their birth story. Each kid has proven to be unique even before entering this world and Tyler was no exception. You may or may not remember but we did not find out gender this go around. That was a challenge in and of itself! The closer we got to the end the more impatient I became. Rhory would tell me “It’s a girl. It is not a surprise, I just told you!” I was fearful about the baby being a boy because of how adamant she was (I’ll share more about her reaction later).
I didn’t share many of these details with, well, anyone. There is nothing more defeating (and honestly, somewhat embarrassing) than going to the hospital more than once thinking you are in pre-term labor only to be sent home. The first time I went to the hospital was because I was not sure if my water was leaking. I was 37 weeks (almost 38) pregnant and luckily my SIL was able to come sit with at the house because it was the middle of the night before I had the courage to call my doctor. At my 37 week appointment I had been dilated 2 cm and when I got to the hospital they ended up checking me again and I was still at about 2-2.5 cm and not having any contractions and the test for leaking fluid was negative, so home we went.
The second time we went to the hospital was the day of my 38 week appointment (Tuesday)! That morning my doctor checked me and I was 4 cm! Honestly I was shocked because I had never dilated past 1 cm with any other kid. He told me I was a ticking time bomb and to be ready at any moment. This was the day before I was scheduled to go back to work and about 6 days from my induction date. I was actually kind of excited at the possibility of going in to labor on my own. Well, I get home and start packing the kids bag because he kind of terrified me by saying I was a ticking time bomb. Sure enough I started having some regular contractions.
They were about 6-7 minutes apart and he told me to have a low threshold about coming in. I called J and he left work to meet me at the hospital. By the time they hooked me up the contractions were 3-4 minutes apart and getting stronger. The nurse checked me and since I was still at a 4 they sent me home and told me to come back if the contractions got closer or more painful. I was freaking out! I did not want to have this baby at home. My parents kept the kids that night because the contractions continued and I didn’t want to be calling someone in the middle of the night. Eventually they fizzled out and I had to go in to work the next day.
The next few days were spend wondering what was going to happen and if I would go in to labor on my own or make it all the way to my induction. The third time I went in to the hospital was that Friday night before induction. Contractions started up again and I just didn’t want to risk it. I was still at a 4 and by the time they got me all hooked up the contractions stopped. Talk about annoying and embarrassing. I told the nurse that I would NOT be back before Monday unless my water breaks, no matter what. And I held true to that promise. When I walked in the morning of my induction the same nurse was there and said “well you kept your word and now it really is baby day!
Induction: The REAL Baby Day!
My induction was scheduled for January 8 at 5 AM and I was to call at 4 AM to make sure they had a bed and it was still good to come in. Well, the night before our county was calling for bad weather and icing starting at 5 AM AND schools had already closed. I was freaking out that we wouldn’t make it to the induction! Luckily we woke up to dry ground and they told us to head in. I was running on like 2 hours of sleep because of all of the emotions running through my mind! Once we got to the hospital things moved *pretty* quickly.
The nurse hooked me up around 5:30 and I was having contractions on my own about 10 minutes apart. Once they got all the questions out of the way, she checked me and I was still a 4. I said “yep, could have told you that!” They started pitocin at 6:15 AM and then they came in to give me my epidural around 6:45 AM. I ask for my epidural before they break my water because of bad past experiences. For Sawyer they were running behind and the contractions got so intense very quickly after breaking my water. Then with Rhory and Rhett the epidural only worked on the left side of my body, despite turning and rotating trying to get it to spread. My doctor came in about 7:30/7:45 AM to break my water and they had upped the pitocin at this point. I was at a 5 when he broke my water.
After the epidural my blood pressure went low and I started having the “epidural shakes”. They gave me a few doses of some medicine and it started to come back up. Once the doctor broke my water the baby started having some heart rate drops if I laid on any other side than my right. So they had me lay on my right side with some intermittent moves to my left but baby only tolerated it for so long.
The nurse checked me at about 8:30 and I was at 7 cm. I was starting to feel some pressure and after how quickly I progressed with Rhett (5-9 in 30 minutes) she told me to let her know if I felt like I needed to push, even if it had only been a few minutes because she didn’t want me to wait. She checked me again at 10 AM and I was still at 7 so they brought out the peanut pillow. It is a peanut shaped pillow that you put between your legs and it helps get things moving. At 11 AM I was having a ton of pressure and had her check me. I was still a 7 but I really kept feeling the urge to push. At 11:10 I had J call her because I was WRITHING in pain.
She came super quick and checked me again and BAM, I was at a 10 and ready to push. They called Dr. Pohl and he came over super quick. Unfortunately my epidural wore off and it was most definitely the most painful birth I have ever experienced. I was reminded why I really wanted an epidural for every delivery. I only pushed for like 10 minutes because baby was born at 11:28 AM. Our doctor held him up so we could see IT WAS A BOY! Tyler Kane had joined our family and it was just the most perfect thing ever.
Life At Home: Three Under Four
I was not sure what to expect coming home, but so far it has actually been really great. I think that Tyler is the best baby out of the three (don’t tell the others!). He hardly cries, nurses great, and is sleeping pretty well at night. The big kids are learning some new boundaries and adjusting but for the most part they are also doing great. Rhory is a little mommy and wants to help in ANY way she can. She also has A LOT of questions. Rhett kind of follows her around and has picked up on ways to help out. It really is adorable to see just how much they love their little brother. At first Rhory was so upset it was not a girl because she was positive it would be a little baby girl. She has warmed up to the “baby” and loves him just the same! I am aware it has only been a week since he has joined our family BUT I think this adjustment is going to keep going really well.
Here is our latest family picture. We always stop by Sawyer’s grave on the way home from the hospital to take a new picture.
Stay tuned for more adventures for our family!